I'm so sorry you've had this experience. My own experience of leaving a narcissist was that it wasn't just a break up, it was a break OUT. You go through the break up sadness while you are also detoxifying, literal withdrawal symptoms from their presence. Everything I missed about him was a lie, including himself, which forced me to deal with feelings of my own foolishness. I hope the image (lie) of this person can fade quickly for you and you can move on. You come across as beautifully self aware, which is such an awesome foundation to have. I wish you luck, strength and self-compassion on the journey, with faith that time heals and things will get better.