Be careful what you ask for. The universe is listening.

Back in March 2021, I blogged about hanging out at The Forks in Winnipeg with musings about where I could teach next. I wrote in both my journal and my blog: "I want to teach again, dammit. God, please help me make that happen."

This was preceded by an interview at a school in Boston in February (that ultimately went nowhere) that got me excited about possibilities and shook up my sensibilities about staying put during a pandemic lockdown. It was also other side of an intolerable week of minus-forty temperatures and before vaccines were widely available in Canada. There didn’t seem to be anything rational about pondering a move to the US, yet there I was.

Shortly after I found myself taking a Tony Robbins course. I didn’t know I was a Tony Robbins fan until recently. I was finished my dissertation revisions and I needed a positive point of focus. More than anything, I was inspired by his call for a "compelling future," something more inspiring than the post-pandemic line of “returning to normal.”

As part of a visioning exercise, I mapped out my future as a five-pointed star. I’m not sure why I drew a star. A star was simply what came to mind. I imagined an adventurous and fulfilling life with the five points of the star representing places I could move about and call “home,” drifting from one point to the next, all interconnected with one another.

The most northern point of my star was located in Winnipeg, my current and chosen home in Canada. The western point was in BC, my birthplace. The eastern point simply said, “east coast,” which is still on my bucket list. The southeast point landed in my former home of Florida and the southwest point was labelled Arizona/California, states where I have great memories.

The easiest way to live my life would simply be to stay put in Winnipeg, where I own a home. Winnipeg has a notoriously low cost of living and the friendliness of the people makes up for the inevitable 7 months of snow and cold. Yet, professionally I have struggled to land in Winnipeg, often feeling a stark sense of outsiderness and limited by the opportunities that are available as an academic with an entrepreneurial background. There are three regional universities and a handful of colleges and trade schools. After four years of browsing teaching-related postings (or lack thereof), I feel confident in the conclusion that my timing was off and my experience is mismatched with what these schools are looking for. At least for now. I always believed that Winnipeg would be a great place to start a manufacturing business and this is something still I want to do. My spidey-sense says that once I get my fulfillment of teaching, I’ll return here to fully execute a business idea.

I applied for teaching positions in the US and Canada throughout the months of March and April. I didn’t limit my search to points on my star. My search was guided by schools that resonated philosophically with my deep need for applied, practical learning, something that is often missing in “teaching entrepreneurship,” a field that doesn’t require academia as a point of entry and can easily get lost in the theoretical. The cities of the places I applied to included Baltimore, Boston, Indianapolis, Madison, Syracuse, San Luis Obispo, Toronto, Victoria and, of course, Winnipeg.

What happened next was astounding.

Two schools requested interviews: California Polytechnic in San Luis Obispo (California) and a private school in Boston. Both required multi-stage, intensive zoom interviews. A promising non-teaching job in Winnipeg also offered an interview, and eventually a position. Around the same time, the college that I taught in Florida asked if I would “theoretically” return in the fall for a two-year position without requiring an interview process. The schools in Baltimore, Indianapolis, Madison, Syracuse and Victoria all offered polite, “thanks, but no thanks,” rejection letters. I stared at the star in my notebook in disbelief: four points on my star were opening doors. All the other doors were closed. The fifth point, BC, did not open a door, but I was okay with that as BC is an intrinsic home for me (birthplace), not a destination home.

I knew that open doors were a good sign, but not a sure sign. The interview processes were gruelling. The waiting game was excruciating. My inner demons - imposter syndrome and second guessing, in particular - loomed large. The decision-making was bureaucratic. My references were patient and supportive. The people were lovely, my people, my tribe … at least I knew I was in the right field.

The impacts of Covid-19 were unhelpful. Over the course of these interviews, Canada entered a third-wave lockdown and Manitoba earned an unenviable May 18 headline in the New York Times for having the highest cases per capita in North America. It was surreal to consider uprooting and moving internationally when public health care restrictions prevented me from getting a hair cut at the salon across the street. Meanwhile, the Winnipeg winter was replaced by blossoming lilac bushes and the promise of summer. My feelings of “escaping” Winnipeg were replaced by trips to the beach and the green house centre. After I got the first vaccination shot, I started meeting more friends in person on a regular basis after a year of loneliness, deepening conflicted feelings of whether to stay or go.

I was fully aware that all three teaching positions could say yes, or no, and that I could say yes, or no. I could be packing the house and moving internationally or embracing the winters for a few more years. This contemplation was NOT fun. A part of me was able to acknowledge that I had good problems and opportunities to consider and the universe was delivering; however, my anxiety was surreal, reminiscent of more dire times in my life like awaiting surgery, a death, a divorce, a legal outcome, or a Hurricane 5 warning.

So, what happened?

I said ‘no’ to the position that was offered in Winnipeg. It wasn’t teaching and something didn’t feel right about it. In the six weeks that followed, all three of the US schools offered a position, though it was far from a straight path. I don’t feel comfortable writing about the details but what I want to acknowledge is the power of intention, and how the universe embraced my star. I trust that everything worked out as it should for all involved. I still wonder, though, without fully imagining my future and allowing the star to emerge, would these opportunities have shown up? To what extent would I have embraced them and found the clarity to make the best decision?

Ultimately, I decided to join the entrepreneurship department at Cal Poly. It was the most aligned philosophical and cultural fit and I was able to feel at one with the idea of being on the west coast again. I’ve never been to San Luis Obispo before, so it’s an unknown. All I can tell you is that I liked what I saw and read about, and felt a kinship with the community even through the limitations of zoom.

Both cost and availability of housing were major concerns. I was warned early by property managers that I needed to be present to go to showings and be considered for the application process. With a dog and two cats I knew I was taking a significant housing risk. I booked an AirBnB for September that would accept my dog and put some faith in the universe that I would find something once I was down there and send for the cats (staying in Canada with family). This is where the universe showed up, again. I found a house on Craigslist and connected with the homeowners directly. My pets are welcome, it’s biking distance from work and it’s available October 1. It has a ridiculously large living room with a hardwood floor that I plan to use as a creative space to work on my next business idea. The dog will have a larger fenced yard than she is used to and there will be more fruit (oranges, lemons and guavas) in the backyard than I could ever possibly eat. Of course, I signed the lease with gratitude that I know where I will be going and what I need to bring while my family is safe.

I don’t really know how to make this stuff up. I have difficulty believing it and even more difficulty believing I deserve it. There is a mix of knowing I’ve worked hard to get where I’m going and a caution to stay humble and hold things lightly. As Covid has reinforced, nothing is certain. The universe has granted me this opportunity and things have fallen into place. It’s not cosmic, it’s hard work. The logistics are complicated, yet guided. One piece of paperwork at a time.

As per my March aspirations, I am going to teach again, and it will be in California while eating guavas in the backyard and developing products for my eventual business in Canada. I will grieve Canada, Winnipeg, my Winnipeg people and my Winnipeg home, yet with a clarity that they will stay in my life and I will be back. The interconnected star will drift me back when the time is right. In the interim I will appreciate what the central coast of California has to offer through teaching, being outdoors with the dog and hosting my dear Winnipeg friends seeking respite from winter in my sunny, California home.